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A Literary Love Affair

 

 

New hope for the
humor-impaired?

Silicon giant Braine, Inc. bets psycho-prosthetic 'I get it!' devices will tickle Christmas gift market...and save a marriage or two.

By Jules Siegel

CASCADIA — Bonita Braine, aggressive young head of Braine, Inc., says she first became aware of the humor-impaired market when her stepmother, Penny Braine, accused ex-husband Loyal Braine (retired founder of Braine, Inc.) of buying a stolen car.

"She had been pestering Dad mercilessly to tell her the cost of his new Corniche," Bonita recalls. "To shut her up, he told her he got a really great price on it because it was hot. He said it was perfectly safe because he had it re-painted. She reported him to the police."

"Ding-dong. That's Penny. I love her. She's all those people out there suffering from the simple inability to get a joke, to
make witty remarks.What a market!"

The humor-implant, now in final beta testing, will be introduced at the Spring Novelty Trade Show in time for distribution as a Christmas item. Although priced like a toy, this cybernetic psycho-prosthetic is ultimate high-tech.

Billions of lines of complex coding are etched into the tiny chip, containing all the hints the humor-impaired need to function normally.

"Let's just say it tickles your funny-bone," says Bonita, "The technology is a trade secret. It works. Some users even report being able to make jokes as well as get them."

"The hardest part wasn't the coding, or the interface," she said. "It whispers in the instructions at the ear nerve level. It was difficult, though, to get this all into a chip no larger than a grain of salt."

--from Forbidden Dreams, Fragments of a Novel in Progress, by Jules Siegel